The first round of the 2023 playoffs in the East is going to be like the Charge of the Light Brigade. Many will enter the valley. Few will exit. There will be many expensive casualties. And, if you’ve been in a deprivation tank the past six seasons, let us remind you that Toronto has lost every year in the qualifying or first round since 2017. Zero series wins. 

While previous attempts to change O Canada had mixed outcomes it appears it’s just a matter of time till Jully Black’s class-conscious culling of the words is accepted. Being generous we here at IDLM thought we’d short-circuit the piecemeal attempts to create a throughly Woke version of the anthem that would last till the latest fad come along.

As stupid as Woods has been the media’s attempt to divide women by their politics is equally stupid and self-defeating. The women we know are better than that. Set the indignation bar higher than Tiger Woods. 

Not much has changed on women’s team sports. There are huge new piles of money coming into sports from digital rights and gambling, yet men still generate the lion’s share. How nowhere is most women’s sport? They’ve legalized gambling on women’s sports— and still no one goes near them.

To comprehend how brilliant he was just look at his doppelgänger today, Connor McDavid. That’s how much he was a force of nature in a game that tried to clutch and grab him, to slow him down, to get him off his game. That’s how you get the nickname The Golden Jet. He was an alpha man. And that makes some people uncomfortable these days.

Regional sports networks have been “a golden goose. You remove cable TV from the scenario, and franchises are worth a fraction of what they are today, players make a fraction of their salaries today… the boom has been going on for almost 30 years.”

If an NHL team held a Christian night, and players were forced to wear jerseys with a crucifix, would you defend a player who opted out because of his conscience? Or would you go full Proteau and say he's a "shameful human being whose religious intolerance is only going to get more shameful over the years”? No one in the chattering class wants to take that on, of course.

Are today’s superstars a product of more than talent? Are they also the products of an expensive, exclusive grooming process that leaves the Bobby Hull farm-boy archetype in the dust? It’s no longer a sport for paupers.

It’s the nature of fairness that it sometimes take a winding road. But in the end all the participants will accept the winners, however grudgingly”.  If only the rest of the culture could do the same. But that horse has left the barn.

The hasty puddings believe the NHL should treat the pioneers of the game like some statue of Sir John A. Paint and pitchforks. In the rush to institutionalize the more recent legends while they’re still with us it’s okay with them to toss away the pedestal the NHL is built upon.

It’s been a tumultuous year here at IDLM. Most time it was stories on the field to the court. But many times the story was a continuation of the Covid-19 disaster, the war in Ukraine, climate confusion or the cultural clash in society. We’ve tried to get past the obvious and bring insight or humour to our columns. Here’s a selection of our favourites.

There is evidence that with Cherry gone and Ron Maclean playing Goodbye Mr. Chips that a sea change is occurring on at least one front at HNIC One is the emergence of former Canuck Kevin Bieksa as the new tone-setter of the editorial. It means that ,for the first time since Cherry left, the show has a reason to stay tuned in for intermissions.

Coming in the week when Quebec commemorates the 2014 École Polytyechnique massacre, Carey Price’s political message on Bill C21 backfired. Quebec’s media exploded against the man who was so recently their hero. Price tried to clarify his stand, to no avail. He’s now been shunned.

Imagine the Academy Awards coming out in favour of returning The Dreamers to their home country. That’s the equivalent of the NHL’s Twitter site announcing “Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Nonbinary identity is real.” For a league that celebrated its inner Don Cherry for over a century this sudden assertion that biological gender is deader than Eddie Shore has to qualify as a game changer.

Today’s NFL is indeed a changed beast at the QB position. Call it the attack of the Run/ Pass Option. The League is now Brady’s Bunch versus Pat’s Ma-Homies. Traditional maestros of structured football like Tom Brady against the chaos artists led by Patrick Mahomes, Lamar Jackson, Josh Allen, Kyler Murray and Jalen Hurts.

The progressive scolds who’ve controlled the spread of opinions on Twitter since the Obama administration of social justice now want to abandon the site because Musk had the wacky idea of allowing a former president back on the site. This after conducting an informal poll about reinstating The King of Mara Lago. Even people like Mark Cuban you’d thought sane about the new tech have lost their marbles over the prospect of hearing things they find vexing.

Somehow the NHL has lost the thread on international hockey. Proof positive was the news last week that the league and the NHLPA have discontinued plans for a World Cup of Hockey in 2024. This time the problem is, like so much these days, the war in Ukraine and Covid protocols.

Speaking of Qatar, let us be the umpteen millionth person to ask FIFA, WTF? A tournament in the desert in the midst of the regular season for almost all the major leagues from the Premiership to La Liga? Is there some unanswered market demand from the 2.6 million subjects of Taman bin Hamas Al Thani? Are there not other regions that deserve the honour more?

Put simply, the salary cap/ draft system implemented for half a century at great labour strife in the major sports leagues has incentivized two things. Winning it all. And losing a lot— to recruit the talent you need to win it all. It’s a case of be careful what you wish for if you own a pro sports team.

For sheer Woke narrative management few things will top the press conference in Tampa Bay last week in which squish white ESPN reporter Jenna Laine decided to read Bucs coach Todd Bowles his progressive Miranda rights in a question over black coaches. It didn’t go well.