Pretty Lame In Pink: Single Dad Justin Plays The Pity Card

“Saddened non-binary PM seeks new partner with interest in sequins and pantomime.”

It is said that clothes make the man. In the case of prime minister Justin Trudeau, clothes define the man. In Canada’s bespoke circles few notice nor care that the celebrated follower of fashion is leading his Liberals to electoral disaster. So long as he’s a sharp-dressed man.

In the same week that saw Trudeau formally announce his separation from Idris Elba’s biggest fan, the PM begged the chattering classes to consider his children and refrain from mockery now that the worst-kept secret in Ottawa the last four years has finally snuck out. The story should be allowed to work itself out in private.

That would seem a reasonable request, were it not for the fact that no such pity was extended to the children of the Trucker Convoy participants whom Trudeau labelled as Nazis, anti-science, bigots, puppets of right-wing America, white supremacists and more because they disagreed with Justin’s draconian Covid policies on vaccinations. 

PMJT wanted the scarlet letter for those who disagreed with him— and their family and friends. They were cut off from banks and financing, their passports cancelled while the PM called them stains on the nation— while he hid beneath his desk, quaking in fear. When the facts emerged about how dangerous the vaccines have been— and how little risk much of the nation faced from the virus— there was no apology to the families ruined by his actions. 

Just more brass from Trudeau as he staged teddy-bear theatre in cemeteries of residential school kids.

Now he wants understanding for his own cratering private life? His self pity is predictable when confronted with his double standard. In his defence, the usual #TrudeauFlacks claim that the Truckers Convoy was an overtly political act and deserving of ad hominems. While the Trudeau domestic drama was private. 

After which the private and grieving Trudeau immediately went full Mr. Dressup with his kids in a series of photos released in the days after the separation press release. Garbed in Barbie pink, the rictus-faced thespian dragged his reportedly vulnerable kids into a photo op that belied his desire for privacy.

In fact, the Trudeau kids and their mother have long been (willing?) props in Justin’s Wardrobe Extravaganzas, draped in Bollywood garb and paraded for his personal photog to capture in Dad’s costume dramas. If he wanted privacy there was a way to get it. The same way his father Pierre did when Mama Margaret lit out with the Rolling Stones. PM Pierre projected a sobriety and sadness his dullard son could never grasp. And the media respected it.

No such luck with Sonny Boy. You’d think that by now most Canadians would have caught the drift that PMJT likes to dress up rather than reach out. From Pride Parades to foreign trips to indigenous pow-wows, the only thing sharp about him has been the crease in his pants. Where the NYC media swooned in his Happy Ways incarnation in 2015 he’s now a longstanding joke in the G7, the jester to Joe Biden’s incoherent Lear.

But even after this déshabillé, the sneering Family Compact is still tolerant of his foibles, defending him at every turn against the unwashed mass.  @stephenlautens “How many people do you know who aren't smart enough to know the difference between requesting privacy on the subject of his separation and not requiring him to completely disappear from public view on things that aren't related to his separation?” 

Sure, Steve. Go with that. The latest protection racket is the bought-media’s attempt to change the subject and conflate Trudeau’s rival Pierre Poilievre into a far-right ogre. They’ve done hit pieces on his cosmetic makeover, losing his glasses and— brace yourself— wearing makeup in front of the cameras. Yes. The end of civilization.

Then there’s PP’s dastardly campaigning out of season. Noted one online Liberal hack “Well I did notice that Poilievre said ‘we’ once yesterday when he crashed the Caribana party with his political speech. Campaigning outside of an election period. That's always nice when someone brings their politics to a party and has a captive audience just having fun.”

Tghere’s a reason the sheep are nervous. Current polling showing the CPC likely to form a majority government (leading Trudeau’s Liberals by 10 points) means that the prime minister will now drag out his mandate till the bitter end sometime in 2025. (Or until Elton John requests his wardrobe back.) Hoping that innumerable re-shufflings of this faculty lounge… er, cabinet, and dollops of friendly fire from paid media will turn his Ugly Duckling into a swan again. 

Or he could, as is being rumoured now, chuck the whole gig and move onto a new costume change with the WEF? That segment of Ottawa not already sunning itself in the Laurentians is trying to get the scoop on when PMJT falls on his costume sword. 

Making this sob-story problematic is the absence of a successor as PM on the Liberal bench who could carry a riding outside the West Island of Montreal. Mark Carney, banker to Global Warming, and Chrystia Freeland, she of the $800 running shoes, hardly excite the Canadian pulse. Meaning PMJT might be convinced to hang on a while longer till Drake or The Weeknd or whomever can be convinced to run HMCS Good Ship Grit.

No matter how you dress him, Trudeau has reached the Box Office Poison phase of his time in office. Morphing from RomCom dandy to late-stage heel may work in an acting career, but it’s not likely Justin will emulate Barbie’s comeback anytime soon. 

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Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster  A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada's top television sports broadcaster, he’s a regular contributor to Sirius XM Canada Talks Ch. 167. Inexact Science: The Six Most Compelling Draft Years In NHL History, his new book with his son Evan, was voted the fifth-best professional hockey book of all time by bookauthority.org . His prize-listed 2004 book Money Players was voted sixth best on the same list, and is available via http://brucedowbigginbooks.ca/book-personalaccount.aspx