Green Bay, Dallas, Manchester United, and The Burden of Fandom

I have three friends. The first is a Packers fan. Let’s call him Green Boy. During the Packers skid at the midway of the season, Green Boy sent me an article from Bleacher Report detailing whether or not Aaron Rodgers was the right kind of leader to pull the Packers from their mire.

I watched with Green Boy as his beloved Packers played the day before Christmas and decisively put away the Vikings to secure their place in the playoffs. Green Boy spent the entire game bitching that this player or that wasn’t doing what needed to be done. Despite his cynical outlook the entire game, every conversation we had - from UFC fights, movies we each saw lately, how his recent travels were - ended on the Packers. Kind of like, "...so I stayed the hell away from the elephants. Speaking of elephants, Jordy has really lost a step."

I have another friend, we’ll call him Cow Boy. Every week on Facebook he would post lengthy analysis of the game. Most of the time, he focused on the inevitable collapse sure to strike at some point that year. Because 'Garrett' or because 'pass defence'. Following their first round playoff loss, Cow Boy sent me a lengthy text manifesto as to why the Cowboys blew it, how Garrett needed to go, and how Jerry has built a team of stars and not a team.

At the two minute mark of that same game, Greey Boy sent me a text that stated simply, "Stage is set for Dak."

Two friends. Two allegiances. One winner. One loser. Two fans carrying the weight of doubt on their shoulders. The burden of fandom.

As sports fans, we’re made to suffer. We’re predisposed to it. It’s in our DNA. But come on, why be a sucker for it? Why throw away all your reason and commons sense? Why make all the pointy ends of the sports fan spear sharper than they already have to be?

Sports are a welcome escape from our daily lives. Sports are the narrative we get to follow for our entire lives. Outside of the narrative that is our lives, sports is the only narrative many of us (dudes, mostly) will carry with us until we're worm food. Like life, so much of the story of our sports is how we look at them. What kind of an escape is it if you get pissed of most off the time? You wouldn't celebrate the birth of your first child by lighting up a cigar and muttering, "This kid is gonna be a real a**hole as a teenager."

This cynicism stems from expectation. A have another friend. Let’s call them Man Chester. Man Chester is a Manchester United fan. You may have missed it (this is Canada, most people probably did) but Man United were lucky this weekend to escape with a point against Liverpool. 100-million Euro acquisition Paul Pogba was the prime culprit, committing a poor handball trying to defend a cross on a set play (the picture below is not the picture. While a hilarious still shot of footie faces {did they both miss the ball?}, the actual play in question is probably just as funny).

Man Chester bemoaned Pogba’s performance. Their main complaint was, "He cost us 100-million pounds. What was he done for us these last two games?" (listen, I can understand. The man cost United 100-mil. But guess what? He didn’t pay that money). But this isn't the first time. For Man Chester, it hasn't been about only the last two games. They have found every opportunity to voice their displeasure with United’s failures. Man Chester was complaining about United’s performances in September, one month into the season. One month into a new coach, a new star, a new striker, a new scheme, new jersey’s for Pete's sake. Pogba had just spent four seasons on the best team in Italy, a league reputed for playing a markedly different style than that of the Premier League. Jose Mourihno was coming off his first true failure as a manager.

I can’t help myself. What in the blue hell is wrong with you people?

Appreciate what you got, I say to them. Be patient, I say. Lower your expectations, I suggest. The suffering of short-term failures is nothing when you remember that appreciation, patience, and expectation are long games. 

Take Cow Boy for example. They couldn’t accept that Garrett was a good coach when he managed to put a rookie, 4th round draft pick in a position to win more games than any team in the NFC. As I detailed in an earlier column, while Jerry and Stephen Jones deserves credit for making the pick, Prescott went where he went for a reason. The only way a 4th round pick plays as well as Prescott plays is if he comes into a stable situation with good teaching (by Cow Boy’s logic, Prescott was a great draft pick but succeeded because he was…uh, on a team of stars? Isn’t that the point?) By all accounts, Dallas is set for years! A coach who coached up a young QB. That's the dream scenario for an NFL fan!

But Cow Boy only sees the loss. Seeing only the loss, you’re asking to suffer. There are 32 teams in the NFL and one ends up winning the Super Bowl. One. If you judge success only on that and all else is failure, you’re going to suffer virtually every single season for the rest of your life. If you went into a marriage with that mindset, you’d be divorced in three years.

The point here is to say Cow Boy, Green Boy, and Man Chester are missing out. Life as a sports fan can be good.

There are so many other things to enjoy or celebrate as a sports fan. Green Boy could accept that with Aaron Rodgers, anything is possible. As long as number 12 is under center, you have a very, very good reason to not promote doubt and let in the suffering. Celebrate that Green Bay wins some games they have no business winning. You’re getting two-to-three weeks a year that are happier because Aaron Rodgers can throw a dead pig full of air (Hail Mary!) better than anyone. Do you know how many sports fan gets that!? Do you know how lucky you are?

As a Manchester United fan, you could accept that without Pogba (who has played as well as any midfielder in the Premier League, by the way), the brand of football you would be watching right now is a bunch of Englishmen hoofing prayers to Zlatan Ibrahimovich and hoping the Swede can make magic happen. You could accept that your team is one of the most prestigious in the world and unless you cheer for Chelsea or maybe , maybe Man City, there isn’t a Premier League team you have to take sh*t from. Do you know how lucky you are?

As a Dallas Cowboys fans, you could…well, ok, you should be ashamed of yourself. No one likes Dallas. But you could still accept that your team has made noise in the regular season for most of the last decade. You could accept that your team found a free agent named Romo who played a decade as an upper echelon QB and then promptly found his likely heir named Dak in the same round as Tom friggin’ Brady was drafted. Your team is guaranteed to play three or four primetime games a year. You've watched one of the greatest tightends to ever play. You have the best left tackle on the planet. Do you know how lucky you are?

Sure, you say, but what have they done for me lately? If that's your outlook, you aren't living and dying by that ethos - you're only dying. That kind of thought overrides our better judgment. We let it cloud our view of the other things right there in front of us or, more importantly, what’s just up the road. 

Appreciation, expectation, patience. If you practice these three things, keeping your eyes firmly affixed on the road a couple miles ahead, the pain in the short-term ain’t so bad. Unless your team is a car wreck - then you’d be a Cleveland Browns fan.

Rhys Dowbiggin @Rdowb

Rhys has worked six years in the public relations industry rubbing shoulders with movie stars (who ignored him) to athletes (who tolerated him). He likes tiki-taka football, jelly beans, and arguing with Bruce about everything.