The Insider's Guide To Super Bowl 52's Biggest Stories
This being Super Bowl 52 week in Minneapolis, the sports media will be saturated with nothing but. Hours of bloviation await as the strengths and weaknesses of the Patriots and Eagles are dissected by people with inexhaustible oxygen supplies. And who are we to resist the urge to analyze the upcoming tussle between Tom Brady and Nick Foles for the affections of the world’s bettors?
Because you come to I Don’t Like Mondays for the cutting edge, we thought we’d give you insight into the most probing answers you’ll need when it comes to Sunday’s overwrought proceedings on NBC. So, without further ado, let’s get inside the numbers (thanks to Bodog).
- The national anthem. This year Pink is taking on the mantle of Whitney Houston in interpreting the Rocket’s Red Glare etc. Inquiring minds want to bet on:
How long will it take for Pink to sing the US National Anthem?
Over 2 Minutes -150 (2/3)
Under 2 Minutes +110 (11/10)
**From moment she starts singing until the note "Brave" ends for first time.
What colour will Pink's hair be when she starts to sing the National Anthem?
White/Blonde 5/4
Pink/Red 7/4
Blue/Purple 5/1
Brown/Black 5/1
Green 5/1
Will Pink be airborne at any point during her singing the National Anthem?
Yes +250 (5/2)
No -400 (1/4)
**Note: Must be airborne from first note sang until she finishes saying Brave for the first time.
Will Pink forget or omit a word from the National Anthem?
Yes +300 (3/1)
No -500 (1/5)
**Note: From moment she sings first note until she finishes saying Brave for the first time.
Okay, the Over 2 minutes is always a good play, because, well, they’re artists and air time is their time. She’s a Philly girl so go with green hair at 5/1. While she’s known for acrobatics, airborne at the SB has been done to death. So here’s saying Pink gives a terrestrial performance of the anthem. Because it’s the Eagles playing she might be a tad excited, but this t’ain’t her first rodeo. Go with a clean performance.
2) Justin Timberlake (from neither Boston nor Philly) is the halftime distraction. No odds on whether he’ll do Dick In A Box. Too bad. After all, last time he did the SB it was the infamous “Nipplegate” wth Janet Jackson. Still, he’s the object of curiosity on multiple levels. Let’s look:
What colour will Justin Timberlake's shoes be when he begins his Halftime show performance?
White 4/5
Black 7/4
Brown/Beige 7/1
Blue 10/1
Green 10/1
Red 16/1
Yellow 20/1
Will Justin Timberlake be wearing a hat when he begins his Halftime show performance?
Yes +140 (7/5) No -180 (5/9)
Will Justin Timberlake cover a Prince song during Halftime?
Yes +200 (2/1)
No -300 (1/3)
How many times will “Wardrobe Malfunction” be mentioned during broadcast?
Over 1.5 +170 (17/10)
Under 1.5 -250 (2/5)
How many times will Janet Jackson be mentioned during broadcast?
Over/Under 1.5
Will "Nipplegate" be said during broadcast?
Yes +500 (5/1) No -900 (1/9)
**Note: From kickoff until final whistle, halftime does not count.
On the shoe front, I’m reliably informed that, while he likes white, “lately he's been reaching for Visvim FBTs… a classic brown suede pair that is about as classic as these truly unique sneakers can be.” A hat? Indoors? He momma brought him up better than that. A tribute to Minneapolis product Prince, who once killed the SB halftime himself, would be a showstopper. I’m going Yes for that reason alone. Go with someone saying “wardrobe malfunction once and “Nipplegate” never on the very conservative NBC cast. Still hoping Janet shows up, but the Jacksons don’t play second to no one, fool.
3) The last time the Eagles played the big game was SB 39. They lost. And their QB Donovan McNabb puked on his shoes. So:
Will Donovan McNabb’s vomiting incident from Super Bowl 39 be mentioned during the broadcast?
Yes +150 (3/2) No -200 (1/2)
**Note: From kickoff until final whistle, halftime does not count. Must refer to vomiting or a similar work and say McNabb.
Unless McNabb makes a cameo to talk about his upchuck, we think this will be rightly left to posterity.
4) Patriots coach Bill Belichick is known for his sartorial simplicity, captured by his crab-boat captain look with hacked-off sleeves and hoody. But the props are sober on the man known at The Hoody.
What Colour will Bill Belichick’s shirt be at kickoff?
Blue 4/5
Grey 3/2
Red 15/2
White 15/2
The Patriots are wearing their lucky white jerseys (they’ve won the SB three times in them). It’s likely he goes blue, but that’s a tidy 15/2 number on white. Roll the dice.
5) Because Tom Brady is a fixture at SBs, his wife Giselle Bundchen gets lots of eyeballs, too. She’s said to have told him to retire last year. So this could be it.
How many times will Giselle Bundchen be shown on TV during broadcast?
Over 1.5 EVEN (1/1)
Under 1.5 -140 (5/7)
**Note: From kickoff until final whistle, halftime does not count.
If the game’s a blowout and CBS needs to fill at game’s end we could see lots of Bundchen as they play this “Brady’s last game” card. Somehow I think Philly keeps it close. Take the under.
6) Finally, a day without The Donald is like a day without heartburn. He had a little tension with Pats owner Robert Kraft, who has been mad at Trump (AnthemGate) and happy with him (Tax breaks). Eagles owner Jeffery Lurie was mad at POTUS 45 for the anthem flap. So:
Over/Under Donald Trump Tweets on February 4th, 2018
Over/Under 5
Will Donald Trump be mentioned during broadcast?
Yes +110 (11/10)
No -150 (2/3)
Doubt he’ll have 5 SB tweets, but if there’s other stuff brewing on FBI, Mueller etc, it could push the total over. Best to wait on this. Will someone mention the Prez on NBC short of a national emergency? Be serious, this is the Rachel Maddow comany. Unless they blame him for a missed field goal.
Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy.is the host of the podcast The Full Count with Bruce Dowbiggin on anticanetwork.com. He’s also a regular contributor three-times-a-week to Sirius XM Canada Talks Ch. 167. A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada's top television sports broadcaster, he is also the best-selling author of seven books. His website is Not The Public Broadcaster (http://www.notthepublicbroadcaster.com)