Changing On The Fly: Making Playoffs Even Better Next Season
Hands up everyone who feels that this surreal NHL postseason is like a Netflix series you saved till you had more time to watch. Hockey in August? What? Talk about binge-watching. But in a funny way it works.
Having noted that Bubble Hockey is a concept that takes some time to get used to, the NHL has probably produced the most authentic facsimile of its own self since coming back to finish its season in this time of Covid and political crises.
By dint of their obsequious capitulation to #BLM and antifa narratives the NFL and NBA have been rendered unwatchable. MLB has been less political (just seven percent of MLB players are black), but the 60-game dash, the copious injuries to stars and the Blue Jays playing in Buffalo have given the sport an unserious tone.
Even with its unusual format, playoff hockey has seemed like hockey— with all its implications. No Canadian team making it even to the semifinals. Players spitting out chiclets after encounters with the puck. Ron MacLean rambling like Joe Biden before Adderall. (Did he actually say one of the panel had been “fluffing” for his position?)
It’s also been about changes. With minds open in the NHL for a change, how about a few things to make permanent when full schedules and more re-appear.
The expanded playoff format— minus bubble cities— is a keeper. The play-in rounds, the round-robin seeding among divisional winners and the best-of-five opening round keep fans interested in something more than playing for the No. 1 overall draft pick. The 24-team structure was too many teams, but a 20-team version of March Madness is something there NHL can sell to fans dazed by sports in 2020.
2) Don Cherry 2.0 (Brian Burke) has been promoting his “new rulebook” for the playoffs. With so much on the line, he contends, you’ve got to look the other way on judgement calls. As a result, there are now only four penalties called in the playoffs. Too many men on the ice. High sticking (with blood adding 2 minutes more). Hooking a player’s gloves (only in first period). Puck over the glass. All automatic calls that eliminate referee’s judgment. The worst of these, of course, is the automatic deuce for puck over the glass. It’s so hideously disproportionate to the offence as to be laughable. Except when it costs a team a game, as happens. So… make puck-over-the-glass an automatic face-off in the defensive zone. If you want to juice it let the offensive team only get to get the faceoff— like a corner kick in soccer.
3) While the sweats (and people in Pacific time zone) may love four-overtime games, insisting that exhausted players toil till the wee small hours— with refs calling no penalties— is absurd. It also reduces the quality of play for future games. We know what four-on-four and three-on-three hockey look like. It’s exciting. So one OT period of five-on-five. Then four-on-four for 20 minuets. Then three-on-three until a decision is reached. The TV networks will thank you.
4) Make it a penalty or a face-off in the defensive zone if a player other than the goalie leaves his feet to block a shot. First, players dropping to block shots is extremely dangerous. (Frankly it’s a miracle no one has been killed.) Second it reduced scoring (which fans love). Third, making the ice look like a hurricane blew through is unsightly.
5) On strategy, this one needs no league approval. We at IDLM are still waiting for a coach to use the entire ice surface. To wit, just because the offensive team all piles into your zone, why does the defensive team have to do the same? Why not station your top offensive player just outside the other blue line where he can legally receive a long pass or prevent an icing? A striker can break the 5-on-5 grip by forcing the opposing coach to hold back one of his players to prevent breakaways and foil icings. Voila, 150-foot hockey!
6) Restore fighting to playoff games. Not between players. They’re too valuable to waste on pointless fights. Have designated assistant coaches duke it out when retribution is called for. Set up a studio near the benches where coaches can go enforce retribution. Do it during intermission when there’s nothing better going on. There are already too many people behind the bench during games. Thin the herd and spare the tablet.
7) Finally, make it compulsory for Gary Bettman to wear a mask when he hands out the Stanley Cup. Better yet, make it compulsory for Bettman to wear an A-95 mask at all NHL functions. Till he retires.
Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster (http://www.notthepublicbroadcaster.com). The best-selling author of Cap In Hand is also a regular contributor to Sirius XM Canada Talks Ch. 167. A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada's top television sports broadcaster, his next book Personal Account with Tony Comper will be available on BruceDowbigginBooks.ca this fall.