New Sens Owner Discovers Bettman's Joke Is On Him

If there’s a Hall of Fame for cringeworthy sports press conferences, Michael Andlauer just put a bust of himself on the wall. The new Ottawa Senators owner had to explain his Gary Bettman “Thanks For Playing Our Game” prize to a waiting media mob. He’d just won a choice of losing a No. 1 draft pick in 2024, 2025, 2026 or what Bill Daly is holding in a box on the stage.

To say he was pissed is an understatement. Actually we know he was pissed, because he used that word while otherwise reading a legally crafted statement from his lawyers on what not to say about how former GM Pierre Dorion had hamstrung a team that lives and dies by the draft. Alternately wringing his hands and rubbing his neck, the man who’d gotten the keys to the building just six weeks ago was… well, pissed. 

Dorion had “neglected” to supply proper no-trade documentation in a botched deal to Vegas involving Evgeni Davydov. “It’s not that complicated,” Andlauer fumed. “The no-trade list was not provided.” In case Andlauer quibbled over the details, the NHL handed him a 73-page document outlining Dorion’s ineptitude. “The 73-page report that the NHL shared with me this week showed that the actions were negligent in nature by our hockey club. This set off events that embarrassed the league and pissed off two hockey clubs.”

This came after “Suits” Dorion (in-joke for Montrealers) had mangled the salary cap so badly that Sens property Shane Pinto could not be signed in time for the start of the 2023-24 season. (Ottawa had just 19 actives for Game One.) And that Pinto was later suspended 41 games by the NHL for sports gambling. 

You could tell how rattled Andlauer was over the “two phone calls” from NHL HQ that told him he was no longer in Kansas or Kanata any longer. First he said Dorion “has resigned” and then he “has been relieved of his duties as general manager.” Later in the press conference, Andlauer clarified his language and stated it was a “mutual decision” to part ways. 

About his only talking point was why he was handling all the garbage from an incident that occurred in March 2022. “Why I inherited this is beyond me. There is no reason for this to last this long,” Andlauer said. “That’s a question you’ll have to ask the NHL, why it took a whole year since the hearing. The commissioner had a lot of time to deliberate.”

Oh, you can be sure he deliberated, Michael, and he will now deliberate over how to revisit your impertinence. (Don’t hold out hope for a fruit basket.) Expect to be told that you’ll speak when the Commish says you’ll speak. Ask prospective Penguins and Coyotes buyer Jim Balsillie how that felt. Not good. Next freewheeling Andlauer presser? The twelfth of never. 

As for Andlauer’s legitimate grievance with the league over dumping this mess on him after he shelled out almost a billion dollars for the franchise, maybe Bettman didn’t want to trouble former owner Eugene Melnyk as he dealt with a terminal diagnosis Or perhaps Bettman just wanted Mike to get a taste of how far down the NHL food chain you are when you own a team in a tiny Canadian market that has a very unstable, checkered past when it comes to owners. 

What better way to do that than hiding this stink bomb from him as he negotiated the sale. “Maybe because the club was for sale, and they didn’t want to dispute the sale, and making sure the seller got the biggest price possible,” said Andlauer. “I don’t know.” If you weren’t so hot already, Michael I’d say you’re getting warm.

Because a Bettman omertà is absolute, don’t expect Andlauer's fellow owners to commiserate on him being docked a first-rounder when Chicago, knee deep in its sexual abuse scandal, was simply fined and then allowed to draft uber-prospect Connor Bedard. As long timers know, NHL justice is swift and sure. Except when it serves the Commish to string its out for a decade or so to punish a lippy owner. 

The court of Bettman is a lot like Alice In Wonderland’s court of the Queen. “Sentence first. Verdict afterward… off with his head.” Or in this case, off with a needed, lucrative first rounder. Thanks for playing our game, Michael. It’s been swell.

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Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster  A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada's top television sports broadcaster, he’s a regular contributor to Sirius XM Canada Talks Ch. 167. Inexact Science: The Six Most Compelling Draft Years In NHL History, his new book with his son Evan, was voted the seventh-best professional hockey book of all time by bookauthority.org . His 2004 book Money Players was voted sixth best on the same list, and is available via http://brucedowbigginbooks.ca/book-personalaccount.aspx