Want To Placate The West? Try Ending Official Bilingualism

“I ought to say no, no, no

At least I'm gonna say that I tried

I really can't stay 

Ahh, but Baby it's cold outside” 

Canada recently thought it saw the re-emergence of the Canadian golem, a primordial beast rising from the swamp. Yes, the CAQ said that they will have another— wait for it— referendum if re-elected. Panic! Montreal’s West Island had collective heartburn 

Then it was revealed that the referendum will be on scrapping the first-past-the-post electoral system in the province (a process previously voted down in B.C., P.E.I and the U.K.). Collective Gaviscon. Keep that beast at rest.

Still it was good a time as any for social media to lob a burst of “The French language is endangered” ordinance over the heads of Quebec’s chattering class. Public demonstrations have periodically underlined the concerns, about 400 years old, that the French language is in danger of being consumed by the English sink-hole surrounding them. And the risk of separation.

“@tr1n1ron Maintain yes ... Be a completely separated nation no! ...is that a fact though that Quebec can't learn to live as part of the nation that in fact it belongs? What a really sad sad story.”

Ah, shades of 1980/ 1995? Remember the rallies at the Forum? The Yvettes? “There is no Canada without Quebec” (Is there a greater example of Stockholm syndrome than the Anglos of Montreal?) 2020 Twitter once again heard the keening of “What does Quebec want?” As if René Levêsque were still threatening to drop a beaver over the edge of a skyscraper if his demands weren’t met. 

The claim of a French culture subsumed by a heartless Anglo occupier is no more true or false than it has been since the French crown abandoned the habitants to their fate after the Plains of Abraham in 1759. French in North America is an anachronism supported by the zeal of Quebec’s nationalists and well wishers in the federal government on the other side of the Ottawa River.  And oiled by money from, among others, the West’s energy cash box.

As J.J. McCullough pointed out in The Washington Post this year “Modern Canada is a vastly more diverse society… and diversity has divorced the English language from its history as a tribal weapon. Today, English is spoken by Canadians of all backgrounds simply because it’s an efficient tool for communicating with the largest number of people.”

Frankly, today’s Québecois don’t need another referendum. They have everything but an anthem. The hot-tempered takes by Pierre Valliéres trying to equate the frustrations of French nationalists with America’s blacks have been stowed away. Tongue troopers have done their best to nuke English on signs. Immigrants to Québec are obliged to educate their children in French (or in private schools). 

The practical measures are all taken. None of which will mean a hoot if Big Tech decides you are a quaint vestige of colonialism before it crushes you with an algorithm. There is no compelling commercial reason any longer to promote French as Canada has done for much of the 157 years since Confederation. Especially not using the bloated and uber-expensive official bilingualism policy.

Almost no one is hostile to the use of French in Canada, mind you. Just so long as the cost and the political fawning of the grande projet are kept to a minimum. That’s the current climate in Canada. Except to those who believe it’s still 1980 and ROC must send love notes to keep Quebec in Canada.

(As columnist Mark Steyn has written, other nations have separated since Québec first dabbled with idea— notably the Czechs and Slovaks going their own ways. If they’d truly wanted to go they’d be one by now.)

Good thing for the prime minister. Any revival of Quebec nationalism is terrible news for Justin Trudeau. Not in the way it was for Papa Pierre. Pierre was trying to keep Quebec in Confederation. Trudeau the Younger is trying to keep other provinces in Canada. He knows Québec will do what it wants. The minute Québec heads for the exit Alberta and Saskatchewan ((perhaps Newfoundland too) will follow them. “After you, M. Legault.” 

Once Québec starts talking terms there will be a rush by other regions asking the question, “why are we still in this thing?” That thing being a financial equalization scheme that appears weighted to keep Québec’s expensive social safety net from fraying. No one in Ottawa wants that discussion.

One of the stress fractures in keeping the West in the deal will likely be the official policy of bilingualism. Papa Pierre’s quaint plan to make French available everywhere in Canada via government services, road signs and cereal boxes is absurd in a nation made “diverse” by his son Justin. 

As author J.J. McCullough pointed out in the Washington Post , having promised the moon and stars to new Canadians Trudeau must now spring the exception clause on them when the rights of Hindis, Pashtuns, Filipinos, Yemenis, Jamaicans, Somalis and many more are trumped by the droit de seigneur of French rights.

This is not a can of worms he wants to open as he tries to keep his governing coalition alive. Pitting the demands of  nationalistes — who are unlikely to vote for Trudeau anyhow— against his imported voting bloc is a recipe for electoral disaster. But for a government now strapped with the largest debt in the country’s history, official bilingualism might be a place to start.

He’ll still have loyalists, who laud the “liberal” province  of language laws, burqua bans and state orders on where you can send your kinds to a school. “I am proud to live in an open, safe, free and tolerant society, “ Jonathan Kalles wrote in 2017 in the Gazette, Montreal’s English newspaper of the occupation. “While the work is not done yet, we Quebecers continue together to build a better, more just, more welcoming society.”

Sure. Unless the swamp creature decides it’s time for a final reckoning. And then, Baby, it’ll be cold outside.

Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster (http://www.notthepublicbroadcaster.com). The best-selling author of Cap In Hand is also a regular contributor to Sirius XM Canada Talks Ch. 167. A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada's top television sports broadcaster, his new book Personal Account with Tony Comper is now available on http://brucedowbigginbooks.ca/book-personalaccount.aspx