Why Climate Change Has Become Its Own Punchline

Perhaps you remember the 2005 documentary film The Aristocrats? In it, comedians tell their versions of a vile joke about the entertainment biz. The permutations of the joke are endless, and each is more depraved than the last. But the punchline is always the same. When asked the name of the gross act, the answer is always. “The Aristocrats”.

There should be a similar joke about climate issues. Whatever the weather conditions— heat, cold, rain, snow, hurricanes, floods, hail— a member of the concerned progressives pushing a green agenda as a reason for carbon taxes, transfers to the third world or elimination of fossil fuels pops up at the end and says “Climate Change!”

There could be a version of the joke that features an oil pipeline planned to go from Alberta to the coast of British Columbia. The comedian would describe how many of the First Nations on the route actually do want the pipeline, how it’s far safer than shipping oil by train, how the port in Burnaby ships B.C. coal and hosts hundreds of leaky ships from Asia every year and how the prime minister is allegedly backing the project. 

But the project is stopped. The comedian is asked why. “Climate Change!” he replies with a big smile and a knowing chuckle. 

There could be another version in which the comedian talks about how carbon taxes have been added to the burden of taxpayers. The joke goes that, while the tax is supposed to go to combat the alleged ravages of CO2 in the environment, the money instead ends up in general government funds, used for everything but CO2 mitigation. Now, several provinces have said they won’t help raise the tax.

The comedian is asked why funds raised to deal with the purported ravages of carbon are instead being used for other pet projects. He turns his hands upward and laughs, “Climate Change!”

And so on. With this catch-all for catastrophe it’s no wonder actor Harrison Ford told a meeting of his woke buddies, Climate Change is the “greatest moral crisis of our time”, that “those least responsible will bear the greatest costs,” adding, “We are shit out of time.” Ooh, they urgency. Always the urgency. 

Which is why Hurricane Florence was a godsend for the hysterics. Here’s the Washington Post talking up climate Armageddon. “As the climate continues to warm, storms will do it faster and more often, and in some extreme cases, grow so powerful that they might arguably be labeled “Category 6.” Columnist Eugene Robinson proclaimed, “Welcome to the new normal.”

Just one thing. See, business has been a little lean in the cataclysm file which promoted Florence as yet another nail in the climate coffin of the U.S. East Coast. Florence was reduced to a Cat 1 hurricane by time it made landfall. While it did extensive flooding damage, much of that is due to people lulled into security by a long stretch of no hurricanes who have moved into low-lying, riskier areas.

In fact, Florence was nothing compared to the decade of the 50s when there were six major hurricanes that struck the Carolinas (and further north). Since 1960, the apocalyptic trend has produced just three hurricanes in the area. Hey, a 1780 hurricane in the region killed 23,000 people. “This was caused by emissions from George Washington's SUH (Sport Utility Horse)” tweeted Roger Goddard of realclimatescience.com.

Srasota, Florida 1921

What about Florida? There must be disaster written all over it. Before Hurricane Irma struck the west coast last year, the Sunshine State was coming off the longest drought ever in the number of hurricanes. The gap since Hurricane Wilma in 2005 was the longest hurricane hiatus since 1851.

Researcher Roger Pielke Jr., writes that, in fact, east coast major hurricanes are down more than 60 percent over the past 50 years. They’re down 30 percent since the 1880s. Only Harrison Ford is still blowing hot. BTW: Here’s what a real climate disaster in 1926 looked like 

When confronted with such numbers, green advocates like president Barack Obama insist global warming is true… because science. But who you going to believe, a Hollywood A lister or your lying eyes? While agents of doom like Canada’s climate minister Catherine McKenna point to every anecdotal shred of lousy weather as dispositive of annihilation, one wonders how she’d have reconciled  the Dust Bowl’s severe drought that came in three waves, 1934, 1936, and 1939–1940. 

The collapse of agriculture in the North America plains was a true cultural and economic disaster that deepened the Depression even further. But if so, how does it fit in the accelerating climate-collapse narrative pushed by McKenna and Trudeau? Don’t ask, because your life will be miserable as the green punishment squad singles you out for non-person status. 

Okay, choose a date in history to see if this summer’s heat was proof of Harrison’s ravings. On September 18 in 1895, it was 106 F in Nebraska, 103 F in Colorado and South Dakota, 102 F in Kansas, and 101 F in Ohio. Opines Goddard: “Forecast for north Phoenix tomorrow is 105 degrees, due to high levels of CO2. On September 17, 1895 it was 105 degrees at Milan, Minnesota, despite very low levels of CO2. 97% of scientists agree.”

In fact, summer heat peaked in 1949 and has been declining since in North America. (Of course, Ford’s buddies will “climate-adjust” those numbers downward make today seem hotter.) Now check out record cold days in the past on this day.

Sure, weather changes every day. Climate changes, too. It just changes every 10,000 years or so, however much Harrison Ford wants to accelerate the process.

Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the host of the podcast The Full Count with Bruce Dowbiggin on his website is Not The Public Broadcaster . He’s also a regular contributor to Sirius XM Canada Talks Ch. 167. A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada's top television sports broadcaster, he is also the best-selling author whose new book Cap In Hand will be available this fall.